Men Say the Darndest Things (If Anything at All)

Men, you know how your woman gets frustrated over you? Well, there are a few phrases that supposedly help, or so studies say. But why wait for someone else to tell you they work when you can be man enough to try?

The simplest thing a man can say is “I’m Sorry.” Nothing less, definitely more but that’s good the first go-around. We want a good sincere apology, with no exacerbation or patronization in your voice. Once you get the hang of a simple “I’m Sorry,” you’re ready to recognize the appropriate times to use this all important phrase. A good use is often “I’m sorry you had such a rough day.” Couple this with a good hug and kiss to the forehead and you’re a winner. Say “I’m Sorry” when your girl specifically asks you to do something and you don’t save the excuses for a more vague demand. Then do the task without hesitation after being called out on it. If there’re multiple tasks, at least do a third to half of them. As you see, “I’m Sorry” is best used with the element of surprise.

Now a classic phrase is “You’re Right.” Use this whether she is or isn’t. It makes us shut up quicker, lessening the likelihood of more nagging. Even if she tells you that you’re a slob, tell her “You’re Right” because it’s true in her mind. Whether you think you are or are not is irrelevant. If a woman says something she believes to be right, then she is, in her world. However, there are several delicate situations in which you never-ever tell a woman “You’re Right.” If there is a question on the table about the quality of her cooking or the look of her body, never use this phrase. Instead you should deny that her burnt casserole tastes like crap and that those pants maker her ass look huge (not like you’d mind that anyways).

The most important phrase a man should have in his repertoire is “I Love You.” Or if you’re not at that stage yet, “Babe, you’re awesome” suffices. Women need to hear reassuring phrases like this to boost our ego, get the butterflies flapping and simply to reassure us. Most women are of the paranoid sort; we’re always wondering how we’re doing in the world, be it in a relationship, at home, at work or anywhere else our paths take us. If you see your woman stressed, kiss her and tell her “I Love You” (a “Babe, you’re awesome”). Now revel in the smile that lights her face. But be careful when you use this powerful power. A woman will turn on you if she feels like you’re patronizing her or not being truly sincere. We can tell when you’re lying! So be sure to use this phrase in only the most meaningful way for the best effect.

In a relationship, there’s nothing worse for a woman than a man who just doesn’t know how to talk to her. Here, I’ve given you three surefire phrases to appease your woman in her worst throes of womanliness. Try them out, please. Not only will they improve your relationship, it’ll improve your stress level when having to deal with your woman. And less stress means more time to kick back and relax, before she starts yelling at you again.

The Dark Knight - Movie Review

I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to type up the review for perhaps the movie of the year. I had been forewarned by a friend or two about the sheer epic-ness of this movie. Meer words cannot do this film justice.

Obviously, the acting should be the first thing talked about. These were some huge characters roles to fill and every single one was nailed. Starring in the latest edition of such a popular story line is daunting in itself. Christian Bale is all angsty badass again. I think the switch from Katie Holmes to Maggie Gyllenhaal worked very well, almost better than before. The introduction of Aaron Eckhart as Harvey Dent is brilliant for his physical and character contrast to Bale’s Bruce Wayne. And of course the person America’s been freaking out over: Heath Ledger. I would say all the hype is worth it. I have never seen an actor so in to character like this before. All the little nuances, mannerisms, speech, appearances just complete the character, making the Joker completely believable. Award winning performance, most definitely.

Now for the screen play. Holy cow? The story was so dark and deep and insane. I always knew the Batman series was dark, but this movie takes it to a whole new level. The action, the drama, the excitement, the intrigue, the tears… this movie had it all. The several epic fight scenes were well choreographed and placed within the movie. They were rough and tough but still managed to pull out a few comic-book-esq moments. The psychoanalysis going on throughout the movie amazed and delighted me. Psychology and violence never fought together so well as in this movie. It really makes you question yourself and society and our heroes. Yet there is still an uplifting moment of pride in being a member of human society. Visuals were above par. Very little if any CGI was obvious, though you know they had to have used it. Even some of the in-your-face CGI moments were realistic. And big-badda-booms were very pretty. Woe are the tears, though. I haven’t ever cried over a comic-book movie. This one made the tears well up.

On a note that is rarely talked about, the musical score is amazing. Normally I don’t pay attention to the music, which is bad to say, I know, but it usually blends into the movie like background noise. But that’s impossible to do with this movie. I was well aware, during the whole movie, of the scores being played because they made the scenes complete. There’s even a bit of a surprise in the music if you actually pay attention!

So in conclusion: holy cow, zomg, wtfbbq, so freaking amazing. This movie is worth multiple viewings at full price. Can you say movie of the decade? Let’s see if the next movie can top this.

Hellboy II: The Golden Army Review

*** Spoiler Alert! Huge spoilers at the end of the review! I ruin the end of the movie!***

This movie was definitely kick-ass. From the fight scenes to the character development, Hellboy II rocked my socks. This time around, the producers included a few different twists that I was totally not expecting from a comic book movie.

As usual, the fight scenes are worthy of supernatural creatures and comic book glory. I particularly enjoyed when the extra comic, over the top, hilarity ensued during fights such as in the Troll Market, with all the tossing around and face slapping. These kinds of fights are definitely worth the laughter. Yet there is still the epic boss fight at the end of the movie with it’s ‘on the edge of your seat’ holy-cow-ness that leaves you anticipating the final outcome. And of course there are a few moments of Hellboy hilarity that ease the tension of the fight scene. All of the fights are well choreographed and showed the particular talents and flaws of the characters involved.

I was forewarned that the movie is quite long but flows well. I would have to agree with this person’s opinion. Coming in at just under two hours long, Hellboy was one of the longest movies I’ve seen lately, but I was definitely not bored during any part of it. The producers and writers did a fairly awesome job of filling up every moment with meaningful material relevant to the story-line and characters. Even if these moments were totally cliché or excessive or absolutely adorable, they were there and well played.

The one thing that threw me off most within the movie was the central theme of love and family. The theme is almost pounded into you at every turn. It was a bit excessive to me, very contradictory to what I think of concerning comic book stories. That said, this theme is well played throughout the movie, being infused to every aspect of the plot. From the beginning short of Red and his ‘father’ to Liz’s pregnancy to the twin royals to Abe’s falling for Princess Nuala, the theme of love and family influences everyone’s decisions and eventually the outcome of the story. Liz’s love of Red leads her to decide to condemn the world to hell in his hands and the knowledge of her pregnancy to bring him back to life (aw!). The cliché of Abe’s love of Princess Nuala leads him to deliver the last piece of the crown into Prince Nuada’s hands to save her, which, again cliché, doesn’t happen anyways (poor Abe). And Princess Nuala’s love of Abe takes her own life and that of her twin, saving the world for the love to come. I do absolutely love the use of these themes as a way to connect humans and mutants through the universal weakness and strength of love. Through the movie we see Red’s apparently failure to become a part of human society, yet in the end he achieves this goal through his love of Liz. Even Abe’s very human infatuation-turned love of Princess Nuala and the things he does for her is a mirror of a human relationship. This connection in itself is what made sitting through all the unusual yet cliché lovey-dovey moments in the movie, which were obviously several.

So in the end I would definitely give this movie a double-thumbs-up. It’s worth the money to see in theaters and makes a most excellent sequel to the first Hellboy movie.