Occupation: Homemaker

In this day and age, women are pressed to go out and bring home their own share of the bacon. The household has become a dual income situation. Couples are bringing in more income which betters the finances. However, is it truly better for the family as a whole?

Until the Women’s Rights Movement and through most of the century, there was no taboo against a wife and mother staying home to take care of the house and raise the children. It was expected! Well, if your man’s bringing home the bacon, the least you could do is clean house. I’ve heard the grumbling about the unfairness of this arrangement. After working even a short while in this full time job and seeing my mom the homemaker’s schedule on a normal day, I’d say each job is pretty equal. My mom stayed home and raised us, never going back to work except to take in kids to babysit. Raising and cleaning up after three children is a lot of work.

Speaking of children, how would they react to both parents working? It seems like it would harm the kids, especially young ones, to have only “nighttime” parents. The first few years are integral to a child’s development, which means it’s crucial that either or both of parents are there in the child’s life to mold and teach and bond with the child. In my situation, my older sister and I developed a wonderful relationship with our mother. Of course puberty threw us a detour when mom just wasn’t cool anymore, but overall having my mom here when I needed her was a blessing. Even to this day she’s there to be called upon. In my dad’s defense, he is the more easy-going of the two, so when he got home the reins were loosened.

There are a few alternate options that can go along with being a homemaker. This would of course assume that you can find free time! If you can find time, pick a hobby! There are several to choose from that can benefit your sanity and offer a chance for group and one-on-one projects. Another good option is to return to work once the kids are in a stable school environment, if you think you’re ready for it. No pressure though! Or if you’re not ready to return to the workforce but still want to make a little spending cash, offer to start babysitting other kids. My mom did this for several of our relatives for several years and managed to put that aside for saving (which helped her buy a new car after the storm!).

Now there will always be setbacks with your decision to be a homemaker. Obviously with one parent working, there will be a… well, not a shortage of money but not a surplus of it either. Just plan your budget wisely and it’ll be fine. My family made it! Another problem is an overbearing mother! Just because you stay home all the time doesn’t mean you have to do everything for your kids. It’s very important that your kids learn independence before leaving the nest because that can affect their ability to cope in the wide world. Most importantly, moms, don’t let yourself go! Put on that dash of makeup, borrow a yoga dvd from the library, walk around the block, involve the kids and hubby. There’s no excuse!

So, see, it’s not so bad being a homemaker. There are so many positives to it, mainly being the time you spend with your kids. Just watch out for the problems and you’ll be fine. It’s time to be proud to be a stay-at-home-mom again!

Abort! Abort!

Or don’t. This is one of those issues that people just can’t butt out of, usually because of their “Christian duty.” Women have reasons behind getting an abortion. It’s a huge decision that nay-sayers automatically say wouldn’t be an issue because they choose life. But they can’t understand what it’s really like to make that decision until they themselves are forced to make it. I hold one opinion, but having never had that experience, I could very well change my mind.

I hope most of us would agree that abortions for medical reasons are acceptable. Unless you’re a crazy fanatic, I think anyone would choose their own life over something that can be created again. Think about it! There’s always a second chance, be it another pregnancy or adoption. Fetuses can be replaced! Babies not so much, but fetuses yes. So please, don’t throw away your life, for medical or personal reasons. If you’re not ready and you think this is the right decision, don’t let someone else’s religious beliefs get in your way. Unless those beliefs are yours too, then you have some serious thinking to do. You made a mistake, I’m sure you understand this by now. So the question is: do you want to raise this mistake and mess up your life as is? It will get better. However, raising a kid is a huge responsibility that not everyone is ready for, especially if not planned. It’s okay to say that this unexpected pregnancy is too much to handle and abort the mission.

On the other side of the spectrum, though, you totally just created this little blob of cells that will eventually become a real person! Do you feel the rush of power yet? Any factor in the creation of life is pretty awesome, no matter what theory you follow. This awesomeness should be embraced and loved and not given up so quickly. There are so many rewards to being a parent that it’s definitely worth the “joys” of pregnancy. Yes, every fetus deserves the right to develop further. This is perhaps not a constitutional right, per say, but still a universal right. You may regret the happening, but you will definitely not regret the end result. If you’re still on friendly terms with him, kiss and thank the guy who knocked you up! If he’s a good enough guy, and he’s willing, don’t get rid of him. This is a learning lesson for the both of you.

There are a few arguments I could pull for both sides. Adoption is always an option if you can bear to pop out the mass of goo then hand it off. Many couples would love to have your newborn. Or it can join the sea other unwanted kids the nation forgets about, left to make the rounds in foster homes. What if you can’t afford the responsibility? Well, that comparably cheap trip to the clinic can save you tens of thousands of dollars along the road. Or you can avoid the clinic and be given money from the government to help pay for your “wonderful mistake.” The old “my parents would kill me” line doesn’t really work, unless you parents really would. At worst, they’ll disown you and kick you out, in which case it’s time to grow up anyways. At best, they’ll not talk to you for a while then welcome you back to their good graces and loving support.

If you’re still not sure where your feelings fall, just say you support both or neither. I mean, you’re playing “God” either way. Women have the right to choose!

What's in a Date?

Things have definitely changed in the ways of the dating scene since our parents’ and grandparents’ times. More than just a few rules have changed over the past few decades, some for the better and some perhaps for the worse.

Ask anyone and money will be their top answer of what’s changed the most. And it has! ‘Back in the day,’ men were the workers who brought home the bacon so they were expected to pay for dates. Ladies, we’ve lost that perk! In this day and age when both parties work for a living, this line of payment may become blurry. I say ‘may’ because some people haven’t caught on yet. If you both are making the money, then you both need to be paying. Either split it evenly or by order or switch events. If your bacon isn’t equal, or comparable in any way, don’t sweat! You can cover the movie tickets while he gets the sit-down dinner. Just keep in mind the ratio of your wages to his, or vice versa, which allows for the person making more to pay for more and still come out even with the person who makes/pays less, as a way to justify doing that. Remember, there’s nothing wrong with making more money than your man! Just be fair and even and talk about your options. Communication!

So where do you go for a date nowadays? Dinner and a movie is a classic option. Or just dinner or just a movie. How about a stroll through the mall or on the lakefront or down in the Quarters. With or without friends or another couple. The challenge is to find something unique. Rent a horse buggy in the Quarters. Go sailing (a personal favorite now)! Try the arcade or amusement park. Local festivals are a great free and fun idea. Think outside the box a bit. First impressions are important but pleasant memories last longer.

Let’s talk about clothing, ladies. And you gents too. Be it your first date, your tenth, or your 100^th, there is absolutely no reason to be dressed at extremes. Leave your hoochie skirts and holey t-shirts at home, unless you’re going to a costume party. Think about your outfit for at least 30 minutes but no more than an hour. Always dress appropriately; don’t wear heels to the mall or tennis to a nice restaurant. Jeans and a nice shirt, collared, silky or otherwise not ordinary shirt, is a great combo for most any date. If you’re going on a surprise date, ask the guy to give you a hint or suggestion so that you can dress correctly. Fashion is just as important for you fellas too! Same rules apply: no ragged t-shirts or torn pants. Brush your hair, shave, dig out your clean tennis or sandals if the occasion allows. Ladies like for their guys to look as nice as they do. Oh, and we love a guy in a tie! (hint hint)

Both of these being valid points, I think propriety wins out as the most changed aspect of dating. Many of us may be familiar with the ‘Royal Jerks Society’ rule of ‘put out or get out.’ If the guy you’re with believes in this rule, darlin’, get out. Giving up any piece of you is not worth a potential one night stand. Even if you think there’ll be anything more, think about it just as carefully. If there really is going to be more, then putting out on the first date can potentially harm your fledgling relationship. If he’s worth a few more dates then he’s worth going a bit slow. Try just a simple kiss after the first date and see how that works. Who knows what a simple kiss can lead to if you’re ready? But if you’ve already decided that you're going to put out, just be sure it’s because you want it and not him. That whole regret thing really sucks.

There we go: four problems with dating in the modern world. 1) Always share costs if possible. 2) Find a unique, or close enough, place for a date. 3) Remember to dress appropriately. 4) You don’t have to put out on the first date. Remember these four things and dating should get a bit better for ya!