Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Head 'em up (Move 'em up) Move 'em on (Head 'em up) Rawhide

In the quest to relocate yourself from everything familiar to you, there are several preparations that you should make for the sake of your sanity. These include mental, monetary and personal preparations. Moving is a big deal, moving out of town or even out of state is an even bigger deal. Here are a few things that I’m learning along the way that I’d like to share with you.

The thought to move is the easiest part of the whole shindig. You can decide to up and move all you want, but if you actually get down to the nitty gritty about it, moving is scary! Not only do you have to psych yourself into it, but you also have to analyze the situation. Moving isn’t easy! First you have to figure out what you’re going to do job wise once you get to your new location. Only then can you find a suitable living arrangement, which requires lots of budgeting and saving, compensating and maybe even roommate searching. Then you have to figure out transportation; many larger cities have efficient public transportation to combat the terrible traffic, so ditching your beloved car may have to be an option, though at least that gives you rent money, or a few years worth of bus passes. Once you figure things out like this, then you have to figure out simply how you’re getting there. With furniture you need a moving truck or a trailer if you’re like me. Without furniture you can easily use your car or multiple cars if you have help. Start saving for gas money! Got all this? Writing it down? Good, now start looking! Finding a decent job at the right pay rate is a considerable feat. You need to give yourself time to search, apply, interview and get to the location. Pace yourself; there’s no rush, is there? Set a time limit and plan things out. It’s all in the planning!

So now we have all the heavy thinking out the way. Time to start saving up. City living is expensive! I don’t even have my own place down here and it’s expensive. My suggestion is to start figuring out your finances as soon as that moving thought pops into your head. I would recommend Microsoft Money as a good program to use; it has different levels of control and some pretty nice features. I tell you, after working with this program for two months now, my life and money are changed! I’m doing more to save up so that by the time I can actually move, I’ll have enough to at least start out without too much worry. What I am worried about more is the pay range I will need. In looking for work, I am screening options by a certain minimum pay so that I know I can afford an apartment, the utilities, insurances, groceries, loan repayments, credit card, etc. etc. with ease. The worst thing you can do to yourself with such a big move is get stuck without the money to continue living. Consider picking up an extra part time job to help balance the cost of setting yourself up in your new place. Just don’t over work yourself! Sacrificing your spare time at the beginning will be worth its weight in gold for avoiding the bills to come later. Obviously money is important for any aspect of your move as you couldn’t do this without it. Start pulling what you can from your paycheck or throwing loose change in a jar or take up a collection from family and friends!

Now for the clincher: are you ready to move? I still ask myself this everyday. This is huge for me personally, as I’m sure it would be for anyone else considering moving clear across the country to a totally different environment and culture and world. Because I have to wait so long to move, I’ve conjured a lot of fears and worries and nit-picks alike to occupy my time, many of which are at least viable fears. But I constantly have to check myself to be sure I’m not going too far ahead of myself. Setting up that timeline is key to my success overall. But make sure you have the support of family and friends too. When these fears assail you, it’s a relief to turn to your best friend or you mom and talk things out. Confidence is key to making it through this planning period; otherwise you flounder and flail and drag your feet until you lose focus on the final goal. You have to set goals and stick to them else you’ll get lost in the turmoil. More importantly than goals though is the will and want to move, to go though the searching and indecision and tough decisions and the distance. For me, this move will put me the furthest away from my family that I have ever been, and the first time I will move on my own. That’s revelation is wearing on me. It’s quite a daunting task to decide to move, and follow through, especially in this situation. However, I’m confident in my ability to persevere and so therefore I shall.

I’ll let myself be an example of not settling or giving in to a life that does not satisfy my dreams and goals. I want to edit and/or write, but I don’t want to struggle in life, be it by myself or in a family. So I know I have to make some changes, and some sacrifices, for the betterment of myself and my future. I’m willing to do so, and I hope if you have similar goals that my post here will give you the extra support you need to move on!

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Men Say the Darndest Things (If Anything at All)

Men, you know how your woman gets frustrated over you? Well, there are a few phrases that supposedly help, or so studies say. But why wait for someone else to tell you they work when you can be man enough to try?

The simplest thing a man can say is “I’m Sorry.” Nothing less, definitely more but that’s good the first go-around. We want a good sincere apology, with no exacerbation or patronization in your voice. Once you get the hang of a simple “I’m Sorry,” you’re ready to recognize the appropriate times to use this all important phrase. A good use is often “I’m sorry you had such a rough day.” Couple this with a good hug and kiss to the forehead and you’re a winner. Say “I’m Sorry” when your girl specifically asks you to do something and you don’t save the excuses for a more vague demand. Then do the task without hesitation after being called out on it. If there’re multiple tasks, at least do a third to half of them. As you see, “I’m Sorry” is best used with the element of surprise.

Now a classic phrase is “You’re Right.” Use this whether she is or isn’t. It makes us shut up quicker, lessening the likelihood of more nagging. Even if she tells you that you’re a slob, tell her “You’re Right” because it’s true in her mind. Whether you think you are or are not is irrelevant. If a woman says something she believes to be right, then she is, in her world. However, there are several delicate situations in which you never-ever tell a woman “You’re Right.” If there is a question on the table about the quality of her cooking or the look of her body, never use this phrase. Instead you should deny that her burnt casserole tastes like crap and that those pants maker her ass look huge (not like you’d mind that anyways).

The most important phrase a man should have in his repertoire is “I Love You.” Or if you’re not at that stage yet, “Babe, you’re awesome” suffices. Women need to hear reassuring phrases like this to boost our ego, get the butterflies flapping and simply to reassure us. Most women are of the paranoid sort; we’re always wondering how we’re doing in the world, be it in a relationship, at home, at work or anywhere else our paths take us. If you see your woman stressed, kiss her and tell her “I Love You” (a “Babe, you’re awesome”). Now revel in the smile that lights her face. But be careful when you use this powerful power. A woman will turn on you if she feels like you’re patronizing her or not being truly sincere. We can tell when you’re lying! So be sure to use this phrase in only the most meaningful way for the best effect.

In a relationship, there’s nothing worse for a woman than a man who just doesn’t know how to talk to her. Here, I’ve given you three surefire phrases to appease your woman in her worst throes of womanliness. Try them out, please. Not only will they improve your relationship, it’ll improve your stress level when having to deal with your woman. And less stress means more time to kick back and relax, before she starts yelling at you again.