Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Men Say the Darndest Things (If Anything at All)

Men, you know how your woman gets frustrated over you? Well, there are a few phrases that supposedly help, or so studies say. But why wait for someone else to tell you they work when you can be man enough to try?

The simplest thing a man can say is “I’m Sorry.” Nothing less, definitely more but that’s good the first go-around. We want a good sincere apology, with no exacerbation or patronization in your voice. Once you get the hang of a simple “I’m Sorry,” you’re ready to recognize the appropriate times to use this all important phrase. A good use is often “I’m sorry you had such a rough day.” Couple this with a good hug and kiss to the forehead and you’re a winner. Say “I’m Sorry” when your girl specifically asks you to do something and you don’t save the excuses for a more vague demand. Then do the task without hesitation after being called out on it. If there’re multiple tasks, at least do a third to half of them. As you see, “I’m Sorry” is best used with the element of surprise.

Now a classic phrase is “You’re Right.” Use this whether she is or isn’t. It makes us shut up quicker, lessening the likelihood of more nagging. Even if she tells you that you’re a slob, tell her “You’re Right” because it’s true in her mind. Whether you think you are or are not is irrelevant. If a woman says something she believes to be right, then she is, in her world. However, there are several delicate situations in which you never-ever tell a woman “You’re Right.” If there is a question on the table about the quality of her cooking or the look of her body, never use this phrase. Instead you should deny that her burnt casserole tastes like crap and that those pants maker her ass look huge (not like you’d mind that anyways).

The most important phrase a man should have in his repertoire is “I Love You.” Or if you’re not at that stage yet, “Babe, you’re awesome” suffices. Women need to hear reassuring phrases like this to boost our ego, get the butterflies flapping and simply to reassure us. Most women are of the paranoid sort; we’re always wondering how we’re doing in the world, be it in a relationship, at home, at work or anywhere else our paths take us. If you see your woman stressed, kiss her and tell her “I Love You” (a “Babe, you’re awesome”). Now revel in the smile that lights her face. But be careful when you use this powerful power. A woman will turn on you if she feels like you’re patronizing her or not being truly sincere. We can tell when you’re lying! So be sure to use this phrase in only the most meaningful way for the best effect.

In a relationship, there’s nothing worse for a woman than a man who just doesn’t know how to talk to her. Here, I’ve given you three surefire phrases to appease your woman in her worst throes of womanliness. Try them out, please. Not only will they improve your relationship, it’ll improve your stress level when having to deal with your woman. And less stress means more time to kick back and relax, before she starts yelling at you again.